Zacharias Smith Goes Romeo!
by monalisa811
Summary: Honestly, could you pick a cheesier title? I am not in love, okay? Less with her I mean, we're so totally different. It would never work out...And naturally, he's crazy about her.


AN:Alrighty, Zacharias Smith, the annoying ass could actually be...in love? Now that's new! Let's check it out.

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It's just,why?

Honestly, what have I ever done in this Universe to deserve something like this?

I mean, to have a much superior physical appearance than most people cannot be that bad, and if you want you can even ask any of the Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, Slytherins and Hufflepuffs that have skipped classes just because I've asked...not for long though, given that there seems to be an epidemic which leaves girls mentally unstable and they just can't stand to be next to someone like me for so long.They sure don't know what they're missing.

Except for her, the aforesaid who makes it seem like she doesn't want to know what she's missing...bullshit.

Oh yeah, with her classic "Smith, get away from me!" or even better "Move.Move.Move.Move!" She's so expressive, so eloquent...such a liar and so interesting to look at. Look at me, I'm frowning now!

This is not me, I had never thought the term "witch" could fit her so well, she sucks at spells by the way. Oh the irony!...Not that I've seen her at class, what would I have to look at her table? It's not like I stare at her the whole time and search for her during lunch.I'm not a stalker. Not like her life holds any interest to me.

She's so annoying with her idiotic act of I'm so good, I help everyone, I hang around the good guys and I behave myself, all she's missing now is a vow of chastity and to give her life and very interesting body frame to the Nuns of Merlin's Sanctuary. If that even exists.

Doesn't she understand that together we could do such a good to humanity? The creation of a Superior Race! Little geniuses that treat us like royalty, both of us, statues of us, shrines and that finally the Universe cooperates with me and a new House is built at Hogwarts with the name: Zacharias Smith: Place for the Intellectually Superior that don't kill their asses studying. Hey, don't look at me like that. it's way better to say that my mind is above average rather than say that the ninety nine percent of students are mentally challenged, isn't it?

Ha! And she claims I'm thoughtless.

Well, well look who's finally appeared, and with a skirt that seems shorter now.I bet that, even if she denies it, she uses it so people look at her, or more specifically so I look at her...Merlin, when will it be that she finally admits it? She's crazy about me, it's getting a bit obvious lately. And now she's watching me thinking that I don't notice, what's she expecting? That I sit around and watch her like a fool? No,no, Hannah Abbott, don't even give me those eyes, I will not keep losing my dignity for you anymore. Do you really think that serenade at Hogsmeade was intentional at all? In my defense, I wasn't thinking straight and I blame Cedric and his beers for that, of course it couldn't last long, thanks to that bucket of water that you spilled on me. You and your two shadows that go by the name of Megan Jones and Susan Bones (who DID admit that she loved me), the two most annoying and hateful persons in Earth.

Crap.

And there goes your eternal "boyfriend" Ernie McMillan, it seems that the only person who doesn't realize the way he looks at you is you...another moron. You laugh and laugh and laugh, I hope he chokes with his breakfast and you get wrinkles...although I think that not even that would get you the hell out of my head.

This is an invasion.

Now everyone thinks that just because they have pretty eyes, an adorable smile and a waist that looks like she wears a corset can get inside the head of anyone they want. Just wait until I get inside yours at last, Abbott, forget about Ernie, about your dumb friends and your good grades because when I finally make it, you first thought (after dreaming about Zacharias Smith) will be Zacharias Smith and at night, Zacharias Smith will show you the stars.

Haha, and Merlin knows how I would love to do that.

"Zacharias"

Oh, is it now that you call me Hannah?

"Hey Z.S"

Go on.

"Zickey"

Keep going darling, that I can't hear a thing.

"Smith!"

Haha-Oh! What a nasty view, I wonder why Justin insists that he's actually good looking.

"We've been calling you like crazy"

Well of course, it had to be them since Hannah Abbott wouldn't speak to me in a million years, or at least that's what she claims so proudly...and less would she call me Z.S or Zickey.Although...

But, what am I doing? Yes, I admit it seems like the right time now that Susan and Megan have miraculously disappeared. taking Ernie with them and she's all alone, but why do I keep getting closer and closer to her seat?

"Hey Hannah"

Was it me who said that?

And now she turns to look at me, with that classical frowning face that she seems to only pull for me.

"Do you need anything?"

Come on, come on Zacharias Romeo Smith, say it, just say some sarcastic remark to make her hate you for witty. But quick, just-

"I need to talk to you"

Well, that wasn't exactly what I was expecting but now you can make her stand up and humilliate her in fron of...well in front of a few.

She looks confused now, what is it, doesn't she understand English?

"Ok, I guess"

And now we walk somewhere more isolated.

"I just wanted to tell you, I mean ask you-"

For Merlin's sake, what have you got to ask her? did you enjoy the serenade?

"If you wanted to see me tonight...there's a meteor shower and-"

_Hello, I'm Zacharias Smith dignity and many have had the displeasure to meet me. I just wanna say that I'm currently not at home because some suicidal fool whose initials are Z.S has decided to throw me in a car without brakes on the way to a ravine in a terribly suicidal act...but Hannah Abbott...I will come back for you-BEEP_

"Um..Smith, I'm sorry but I can't go with you, you see Megan and Susan already made plans and-" she says this surprised and maybe, I'd like to think that , with a hint of grief.

_Better yet, down the ravine was a sea with vicious piranhas..how cute. Good-bye cruel world._

"Oh, I, I understand. It's ok really. I'll just tell Justin", I say and turn to leave.

_Well, if he has a life jacket he can still save me , I suppose._

_Awesome! Here comes the idiot, with the saddest face I've ever seen and throws me a life jacket. Good, those piranhas looked a tad hungry and vicious._

Fine...I'm fine. This does not hurt me, I don't feel bad and I'm certainly not heartbroken. I'm fine, good one from Abbott, I'll get back at her somehow. I'm alright, nobody died, not counting my dignity, which is probably dying right now anyway, I'll be fine, Romeo was fine right? Oh wait he died...how incredibly convenient.

Come on Smith, save some dignity, remember?-I don't even know why I went there.

Perhaps I could allege that someone bewitched me or something, so that I can later hatch a strategy to retrieve my honour.

Damn Abbott.

I solemnly swear that next time she pulls this one again, I will drag her by those ridiculous pigtails of hers and...wait, what is she doing? What gives her the right to reject me and then stick her tongue inside my mouth? Merlin, there's really something wrong with this world and I should fix it now..although, giving it a better thought if she continues to kiss me like this, the world can pretty much go to hell.

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_AN:Written like this is Zacharias Smith's dignity, this is a translation for my other story, called "Zacharias Smith in Love"_

Review?


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